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All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society.

They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.

George Clooney and his new wife, Amal Alamuddin, are the talk of the town.

But, it's not all good things, as there's also talk about their “bizarre” age gap: him 53, her 36.

Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.

In fact, research has found having 20 or more sexual partners reduces your risk of prostate cancer. And by having 20 or more sexual partners, what does that do to how women perceive you? “Anything over 15 makes me nervous that he’s more dirty than experienced…” - Julia C.I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes some of the best memories and experiences.I still get the common response from my friends: “He's too old for you! ” I've also had a few people in my life suggest that I do it because I am a “gold digger.”So, the broad answer is this: To clarify, I'm not dating older men because I am a “gold digger.” It's more important for me to pull my own weight and be financially stable.But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.